Gifts of self-esteem, including: self-value, self-worth, self-respect and then very importantly, self-efficacy_ all came to reveal their messages for my birthday this year. September 1st was a day of sitting quietly and reading about this newfound orientation to greater inner well-being, all day long. September 2nd was a day of actual celebration.
Combined with reading a certain poem on self-empowering, female identity confirmation-building, beginning within, for the past few months_ as increasing bouts of insecure collaboration, transformed into months of inner anxiety, popping out in periodic struggle on the ARt project... I awoke today noticing that my own lifelong responses to women artists, their work and online professional presentations, were all glowing in my field of attention!
I am saying this all out loud because to consciously develop my inner guidance, grounded in the above renewing encounters with authentic self-worth, impressions & vision description of solid self-esteem/self-efficacy_ is where I need to feel lots of (inner focus) support to be consistent, clear & on track.
Combined with reading a certain poem on self-empowering, female identity confirmation-building, beginning within, for the past few months_ as increasing bouts of insecure collaboration, transformed into months of inner anxiety, popping out in periodic struggle on the ARt project... I awoke today noticing that my own lifelong responses to women artists, their work and online professional presentations, were all glowing in my field of attention!
What this symbolizes for me is all about being true to self on every level. The reality of which cannot be emphasized or proactively focused on enough, as I reacquaint my attention and understanding on these new coordinates for living and navigating the challenges of life, with greater fluidity even softness at my own edges.
For the past week and 3 days I have been at home & around town on a two-week stay/ vacation. I am enjoying having no schedule, sleeping, and slowly putting my house back in order after 7 months of intense achievement to reach one of the big goals of my post bacc studies. I have yet to internally celebrate what I have, with the expertise of talented others, recently & wildly successfully launched: a prototype project that combines ar technology with a portion of the Percent for Art Collection on the local university campus, at this time. Celebrating myself as competent and capable, gifted, intelligent & talented, is a must do for my own well-being that is not quite waiting in stasis anymore, as I more consciously redefine historical attachments, toward more positive internally fed acknowledgments, because I now understanding better why they never came earlier in life in ways that were apporopriately nourishing then. More than just the celebratory hoorah, I am truly on a journey of learning to become my own mentor in my life and professional development moments such as this.
Anticipating the new academic year beginning in a few short weeks, I know that I do want finish my 2nd bachelors degree in French this coming new school year; I also want to master writing skills well enough to have the choice to publish my research on E. Vigée Le Brun; I want the opportunity the ARt project affords as a custom internship at the end of the school year, summer 2013.
If I didn't say this enough, let me repeat myself:
I want all the intrinsic qualities of self-esteem & self-efficacy needed within to navigate very well; to be grounded in inner strength and clarity of conviction; to assert myself where needed in academia this coming year to reach these goals successfully indeed. All without making anyone else a target of historical insecurity habits.
In fact, working in a much more supportive academic environment is appropriate to reinforcing taking care of needs, as I do become successful in reaching goals this coming year.
*I have finally posted an accompanying image. Enjoy!
