A seminal designer

the designer william presents to bioneers

Who is this "William?" What are "Bioneers?" Click on 'presents' statement, and follow a natural inquiry after watching the video, to expose yourself and then find out?
This is an inquiry-invitation for those who want to look in order to see_ because the work of this person is valuable for the world, and his challenges to us all are important to get the word out, and set about understanding in order to get going on it, no matter who we are, or what we each do!
Coming from people who are 'white Presbyterians, and who do only continue to bury their feelings' (behind "Christ"), I am skeptical yet desirous of more naturally curious people's perspectives who are less fearful, and who are more constructively intra-participative on the leading edges of living consciously. In case this hasn't been obvious.

a graphics student-project
that I originally reproduced
in macromedia Freehand MX

Words are not the enemy...

On Thursday evenings from 6 to 9, I am attending social service agency-level series on money awareness. I really cried in that class last night...it was a crisis experience for me. Listening to a twenty-something lead the class with the sheltered, good-child's youthfulness of: 'cover-all-the-material-in-the-time-allotted, life-in-a-straight-line perception.' Hey! What's so hard about this stuff_ is probably the developmental view on reality that dominates for this youngster's life-view at this point... It's a drag for me as the idealist and artist. I really counted, a lot more than I know how to change right now, on the off-spring of my generation to be cultural allies, and to be so much more enlightened because they are the off-spring of my generation who collectively have looked beyond the veil. You kids have been cheated, and now you are no more than programed to be good corporate fodder. Guarding your own thoughts in trade only for money!
My journal writing here is not for soapboxing, and this sadness I feel today, is principally about what is unresolved yet in my own life: the relationship to money. Poor money, it's just an abstract concept really, but its power is in the idea really that it is an abstract that has global agreement_ I mean entire countries, like the good ole U.S. of A. are built on this abstract idea!
It 's power then, is really in the world-wide, subconscious agreement that keeps spinning through us all. So, what provoked my crisis responses in the 'Financial Fitness' class last night?
Very simply, all the anxietal tension that accompanies the subject.
This entry may take a lot of hits that result in more avoidance, but I write on the subject because it is deeply part of my work as an artist_ not just in reciprocity in the market but also on the canvas. So much of human subconscious self-worth is entangled, unresolved here in this concept that is called money. Since very young, I have just wanted to function as the artist in a world where more are clear and brave about money and worth. I think this view was at the core of my childhood logic of wanting to leave and find my real family. That the two, a human being and money can stand independent of each other, and, where love for one another is not caught in the web between. That's the part I believe that is unconscious in all of us the world over. Internally we are not separated from the values about self that we place on money, nor hence are our relationships with money itself, or as a result, are those relationships any more clear with each other. On some level everyone's everything is tied to this unresolved set of ideas about self-worth on an abstract concept that amounts to no more than the energy of exchange, using paper and metals as symbols of worth.
I was sad last night to the point of tears at the memories and still am processing the residue of that sadness today, because I grew up around adults with an overwhelming set of messages for a child to encounter, as they expressed very unhealthy dependency on the ideas of money and personal worth or identity.
My journaling in this blog, alludes to notions that I have done a lot of personal work to change (this) family past in my life even as it materially is not good right now. All changes in their time, the dominant chaos that impacted my childhood is not to be my daughter's inherited influences. At this point money issues are emerging for their turn to be recognized and acknowledged, in all the ways I have learned, now having done the main psychological and emotional healing work of the past, for both our benefit. This new work leading my awareness, will impact what is historically internal, yet in the near future will predictably gain in greater inner cognizance. Clearer integration about being available to, as well as deserving of, supportive relationships that can be trusted. Growing more independent of the past chaos that once, were only strong but confused instincts about self-worth. The cumulative consequences long-term? Healthier internalized references about exchanging energy with others through my art_ the facilitating means from childhood for understanding healthier self-possibilities. It has been, and continues to be, a lot of good hard work_ and that real family imagined as a young child, then sought out in the world, is made up of two at this point.

visiting summer rose, acrylic on board

***(Remember all images that are available are listed in detail under the heading: "Details of Available Posted Artwork" on right of blog page.)***

slumbering friends, acrylic on board

How the steps of returning to my artwork are evolving...

Working to participate in the marketplace as the artist, from intense material poverty, means that manifest objective reality just gonna take time to build. Especially when one is working twenty hours a day, on a variety of levels, to also come out of social isolation. 'Course working largely in front of a computer is hardly going to help the social evolution happen with anymore speed than work in the studio really. There's a sad oxymoron_ yet current reality requires that I set the elements of a work presence up online at the outset of changes in my life, as a full-time single mom, that at last are moving closer to actual, productive studio time again!
Call me the artist, where my interpretations about how to go about fitting together the big pieces of life have been interpreted literally for two decades now. Magical and literal thinking are not all only for childhood. At least, not the part of childhood that socialized conditioning/messages assume to project as not defining a responsible adulthood! Adulthood as we now experience reality, comes in all flavors and colors, as it has always sought to be, express, participate (now lets coordinate this parade of possibilities, adulthood, with adequate access for all)!
Without sounding idly critical, or negatively judgmental, while at the same time being able to look back at how historical human psychology has evolved_ isn't it nice to live in a human era, where we can see more clearly that historical ideas about traditional-society defined adulthood, have roots more in self-aggrandizement, and in smaller ego-centered references that have only continuously left its followers unconscious to experiencing their own life while living in it?!
The counter-revolution has served well the aspects of cultural development that today operate more in the light of day, where once these same kinds of ideas were persecuted_ killing really, good and talented people over eons of human history. Wake-up! Wake-up!
The counter-revolution has also served well, those who have lived it open-minded_ prioritizing one's health longterm, in the organic process of experimentation_ those long buried ideas on how to more consciously notice that we are alive, while alive! What's that Jefferson Starship song? "...living in books, or we can live! Live for today!"
Alert! Alert! Contrary to popular assumption, this is not an just intellectual description about living the life experience.

What has been said here then, under the title of 'my artwork evolving?'
Think of my posts as a tapestry, written in a female perspective that are without a formal beginning, middle, or end_ the work of a lifetime that on occasion reaches for long strands that alternate expression in up-close detail. For now, just as will the dates of my posts not chronologically match up with the recent images posted, yet, when one steps back over time, in those places where the mind gets quiet because the mind is thinking of everything and nothing, you will see more clearly the whole coming into focus. Remember what that is like? To watch an artist's drawing come into shape of the whole? Magic, right? It is a plastic kind of thing_ observing, creating, living. One makes a stroke on the canvas. Living, creating, observing...

What is she trying to say? Stay tuned.

Anybody care to matron/patron this artist's endeavors?

my funny valentine, oil

Est-ce que les temps présent comme la fin du siècle?

The question in the title of this entry asks, whether or not the time we are currently living can be considered as like the period of the original...?
As an artist who is logging in more hours on the internet, my observations of what other artists are doing with the technology have begun to pick up on an impressionistic similarity, correlating with that period of history that is referred to as "la fin du siècle... My comparison here, principally focused on the artists of that time_ chiefly Picasso for example's sake, whose artistic developments in a new art form called cubism were coalescing in the studio, and simultaneously in the café life of the era. Imagine what it must have been like as any artist of the day would have regularly interacted with artist-colleagues, as well as others from a variety of disciplines well into the night over cheap glasses of wine, indeed sharing in the 'ferment' of their discoveries_ remembering also that electricity was the brand new technology! Fast forward those impressions to what we might call blogging today as perhaps one very small, yet plainly mighty example in the cultural synthesis of technology emerging, and now paralleled with your understanding of the fin du siècle! Can you see?
In recognition that a twenty-first century 'feeling' for possibility is emerging rapidly, it is important then to shift one's assumptions about any frame of reference that might co-opt current orientation of a new reality, by very simply acknowledging out loud first that we are NOT, I repeat NOT then only in a fearful, overly stressed, or uncertain end-of-the world battle for good or evil_ as that sort of thinking is just antiquated! Rather we are collectively on the verge of what is new and possible on a worldwide scale that has never been experienced before, and that through the inventions, and developments of the technology, this is a new field of possibilities that humans have really been building creatively and intelligently toward, for a very long time! Thank-you, Mr. Buckley!
Even though my attempts to describe the parallel, may be awkward in the attempt to link really big ideas together from the artist's perspective, when you consider none-the-less the reference to a new 'La Fin du Siècle,' does describe these emerging times of creative-techno synthesis very accurately. To this end I say, take heart, hands, head, and DO NOT leave your body or soul behind!!!! These are new human times in the best of ways. So, inspire! Be! Contradictions abound, as one can now recognize that one truly has the time to create! Discover this! Reinvent! Learn! Grow! Produce! Define anew! As everyone's voice, views, abilities_ are truly needed now.

study after Vermeer, oil
_chosen to accompany this journal entry,
for all of its 'simplicity'

Thoughts on the Body

I made my song a coat
Covered with embroideries
Out of old mythologies
From heel to throat;
But the fools caught it,
Wore it in the world's eyes
As though they'd wrought it.
Song, let them take it,
For there's more enterprise
In walking naked. _William Butler Yeats

baby buddah, graphite